A grain of salt if you find the earth boring. Transportated in the country side and their yard, i find the way to deplace a few bits, that's all i am. I don't take sides anymore. I don't care what the price is, don't know know what the tide is, i have resigned from any citizenship. I belong and therefore don't feel anymore. Love and desire are foreign to me; That used to be a choice, now it's a exhile destination. I live in the land of dummyness and it feels like i am alone in here. I recall having had science fiction thinking a few months ago, a meme about aliens, non earthlings. My point was that a coincidence of scale was unthinkable. I am convinced that we have encountered alien entities, but we cannot draw that conclusion because they are of another scale, so different that we cannot apprehend. a galaxy in a grain of salt, for earthlings or aliens. i

sing along in my head with Scott Walker, i'm the farmer in the city. Words still resonate in my head after all these years. Who are you ? I used to be a citizen but i can't recall when but i don't even think so. My point is psychological science fiction. psychiatry is only an interface. I am a device. 21. In dreams i talk to you, but when i wake up, i'm a little league chemical clown who didn't make it for the real circus. It feels good being less, it's easy being me but you're too real to encounter me. Not the same scale. Too many levels. I used to be jealous, vindicative and now i don't feel that strong anymore. There's this dream i had years ago, my earliest memory: there is a massive gear wheels working fine, pure mechanical wonderland, then rocks fall from the top on the mechanism but without breaking it. Rocks are torn into sand, so much sand that it all

ends up with a desert covering the mecanism, leading to the forgetting of it's existence, even though it was the generator. The end is endless desert, emptyness. content nihilism. This dream, as i can recall it, is only in black and white shades, colour being a luxury i couldn't afford in the memory i have of that dream. In fact i don't recall any other dream but now i can easily day dream this sequence. It lasts a few seconds before the desert. I haunt my dreams because i don't have the imagination to do anything else. I don't want the power of initiative, i don't want choice, no options because i always recall building ruins. It's too late, it takes too much for me. There's no catch, no keyword, nu clue for this season. It's a temporary outing, will i think within a few weeks, months, years, but that's where i am now. If i read it now, i would wipe it all

out. If i was real, the whole thing wouldn't exist, you knew it from the start, that's one of my rules, to keep it as trace for later process. Just a few bits moved. A grain of salt or sand. I don't know but you do, master, i'm on orbit, you don't see it and you're right not to care. If i was a nihilist you wouldn't have the opportunity to read my words. I don't know what the time is, don't understand what the tide is, i'm am saving the dust, just for you. I don't do the talking. the end must be near. Being away makes you loose control, helpline operator, dead sea navigator, hands up, pants down, baboon shall not kill baboon. It's hard on the outside, the door is a temple, a pantheon of existence, an unreachable cloud hanging over me. I don't belong, i belong, it won't be long. Age of disposability, the colours of my sight, stare below the horizon, can't trace the source nor

the reason, invisible dawn, perpetual clown, chemical stance, don't have to, used to, can't afford, you're the lord. It might as well be me, i'll never really know. A grain of salt in the desert of your beach on another scale. If you're feeling sinister, forever after, i send the energy to my enemy, i don't know who, why, if ever. It's all so blank in here, can't make eye contact, feels home in here, action leads to no fact. I forget in order to try to forgive me because it's all fake, psychological make-up: don't trust me. I can't convince you but that's the way i feel. Every morning i wake and it make my malediction and i wait the rest of the day, reaching out for evidence of my insanity. Sleep is erosion, feelings turned to fossils. How did i get here ? the path was written on arrows i hardly could read. Hijack the dark train before the occident. For me you are the

monolith, you are for real. I'm trying hard, there's nothing to retrieve. Is it always worth the pain ? No good, not in this life as i cause the distance, shift the lights out. It might as well be, drugs in my bubble bath, toxine in my urine, sugar low inside, the urge to move bits, the pain that i hide, the clock on the wall, the ghost that i fight, the dead light of dawn, the fear that i find, it might as well be, the devil in me, the taint of a dummy, the scares of the sea, the struggle of my sanity. you're going to find out, don't tell me, i lost my way, i am the maze, i close the door and throw away the key, distant memory. The pulse to change the plot, action, motion, random thinking, too long without a job, did i ever ? As far as i can tell, no. Did you really try ? no. Did you lie ? yes. Do they know ? yes, it's all folks. I open my eyes, it's all gone, a grain is all i need, before we fix